Today I started out with a 2-day workshop on gender violence. Tonight, in this space, after watching a debate, I began weeping and I wasn't sure why. No, it had nothing to do with the candidates.

I remembered today all the transformations I made during my peer specialist support training. It was sometimes emotionally and psychically exhausting. We had an incredibly diverse class and that was so helpful.

There was a chart today with percentages of gender violence and different age groups ... I realized that there wasn't an age group there that I hadn't experienced gender violence. That's because when I was younger there was no help for us unless you had an adult to talk with. When you're abused as a child you tend to develop survival skills and also misplaced trust. I never had boundaries and rarely felt truly safe. It seems like a movie to me when I'm thinking back.

That's a whole lot of years and I'm just realizing the depth of destruction caused by really poor choices.

Next week, I begin another training for peer wellness specialist. This comes at a perfect time because all that I will be learning will help me get back on track and get out of this isolation.

Tomorrow we will really dive in on the issue and on trauma. I'm ready.

If you need help, reach out and keep reaching out until you get it. I'm so grateful to be living in a time when I can learn, dissect and heal these wounds, because I'm finding a profound sense of peace in doing it.                                         

                                                                                             Ruthie